Part II: Thank You for Allowing Me to Share This with You

This should't be a ringside seat.

I wrote weekly articles on DV and its effects on the community for our local newspaper.  I was made "Honorary this," and "Honorary that" and anytime you picked up an information brochure, whether for intrastate or national Domestic Violence Prevention Awareness Education purposes, you found my name listed under "Resources."  

My efforts were even recognized by then-sitting, President, Bill Clinton.  I was that dedicated - and determined. But there was a penalty that went along with this. What I didn't expect was to be re-traumatized by working so hard in this capacity; and, learned about the enhanced probability of this when it was too late.  I can tell you that my passion for protecting these victims literally got the best of me.  My night eating increased, and so did my weight.  During this time of experiencing personal satisfaction from helping other victims in dire situations, my budget for "professional wear," like my waistline, was expanding instead of shrinking. With every new season, I was buying a new wardrobe.   And, while I had all of the determination and passion to help other victims, what I couldn't muster was the same forces to help myself - until it was too late. It took me over a year to take off a considerable amount of weight, through sheer physical exertion alone.
  

So, my revealing all of this to you does have a purpose:  With the help of my patient and understanding therapist, I've identified many of my triggers for NES, BES and compulsive over-eating behaviors that are tied to this particular incident.  If you think about it, you can imagine what several of them are. If you suffer from an eating disorder, in all sincerity, I ask you to try to identify yours as well.

Believe it or not, I am humble now.  I don't picket, crusade or grandstand any more.  I'm not angry, but I haven't forgiven, either. And although, through the years, I've decreased my physical efforts in DVPAE, I've increased my financial ones - substantially.   Unfortunately, all too well, I understand what these victims go through; and, even more to my sorrow, what the long-term effects of these kinds of incidents can do to a person. 

And, in recognizing these triggers and the etiology of them, I'm empowered; and, I'm rallying - and this time for myself.  In addition to this, I'm recognizing that while I have such joy over seeing the numbers on the scale go down, instead of up, that eating doesn't have be a part of my joy.   No doubt about it, this is a tricky process; but, identifying what makes a binge-eater, night-eater or over-eater panic and enter these eating-disorder behavior scenarios is a good first step in learning how to manage them. 

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. 
Copyright © 1/1/2015 -      , CB, Bed Warrior