Just One More . . .

Happy Thursday everyone!  Over the past two days, I've really been struggling. Inside my head, I knew what I should do, but my hands and feet really didn't care if I knew it or not.  Because of this, I found my feet walking into the kitchen, and hands on the refrigerator door far too many times in the course of a 24-hour day. When I watched my behavior, I found myself saying, "Maybe just one more ..."   You know how the plea goes.  "It's just one more - that's all."  While I don't know the exact cause of this behavior, I do know that there is a certain amount of depression playing into the scenario, as well. And, to be truthful, the "laziness factor" also plays a contributing part to an idle day that is plagued by unhealthy eating.  When this happens, I find myself truly struggling.  

By nature, I am a recluse.  And those with whom I'm social, would never describe me as an introvert.  Little do they know.  But, if you combine the personality traits of a recluse and introverted person, you'll see there's not much opportunity for building friendships or expanding my world.  I also don't suffer fools, and I have very little patience with anyone who is, including myself.  I've never been one to suffer fools, but where my patience ran out along the way, I can't tell you.  Given this lack of patience, even with myself, it becomes an emotion that quickly turns into depression if I don't take immediate action to reverse it.  In earlier posts, I've told you that I suffer from PTSD, and the reason why.  Now you can see all of the factors that come into play when I give into a lazy, lethargic-and-eat-whatever-you-want day.  This is how it happens.

As a writer, I tend to want to stay inside most of the time anyway; and, I'm most comfortable sitting at my PC with fluid sounds of music all around me.  I'm lucky, and I know it.  I don't have to leave the house to do anything, unless I want to.  But, you can see by the above paragraph that this also becomes a trap.  And, when I go into my "hiding" mode, good nutrition takes a back step to whatever it is that I want to eat to sustain me.  This is exactly what happened over the last 36  hours.  And while I know the walls are closing in, and all I need is to get out of the house for a few hours, it's so much easier just to lie in wait for the "mood" to pass and do nothing.  If you think I'm being hard on myself, you're right.  But, there are also times that I do take deliberate and fast action.  

One of the things I do to help me get back on my respective healthy emotional and eating tracks is to take a nice long walk.  I'll make it a point to visit neighborhoods I've never seen before.  This is one of the tricks I've used for quite some time.  As a young woman, I always awoke with the question of what I could do to make sure I didn't waste the day.  There are times I still use this mantra - but in a more selfish way.  For the benefit of others, I volunteer at my local hospital, literary society, and writing world.  I give a considerable amount of energy and money toward these causes.  But, when I  know I’m "in trouble," I'll question myself as to what I can do to make sure I don't waste MY day. Given that train of thought, I've decided to use my plea of "Maybe just one more . . . ' to benefit myself in the bigger picture.  So here goes.  Maybe just one more ...  block of my walk.... telephone call to a friend .... bottle of water ...   fitness exercise .... minute to plan and implement a behavior that will work for the good and, not detriment, of me.  

If you have the kind of days I've described above, you can make positive "just-one-more" changes, too.  I just know it. 
Copyright © 1/1/2015 -      , CB, Bed Warrior