Harnessing the Powers of Guilt

Guilt can be a powerful force; and, the guilt experienced by over-eaters, night-eaters, binge-eaters and other kinds of food addicts can be overwhelming. Often times, those around you from casual observers to close family members can't see the guilt of the victims of eating disorders. What's that they say? Binge-eating is the number one addiction of adults in the United States? That's a whole lot of guilt.  

So what are some of the tools that those afflicted with eating disorders use to help them identify an upcoming episode? And what measures can they take to counter this behavior that, in fact, is abuse of their own bodies? In an earlier post, I refer to binge-eating as "food hoarding" in our bodies. It's true. All we want to do is eat the things that are "bad for us," - and in huge quantities. But what is it that pushes us to this kind of eating frenzy? On a personal note, I can tell you that with me, it's usually disappointment/sadness in something or someone I had faith in. And, for me, it's not break-up, run-and-get-the-ice-cream kind of disappointment or sadness.  It's more like I'm sad, disappointed and frustrated in others all at the same time.  You know what I'm talking about; it's like when you see someone you love cutting their nose off to spite their face in so many ways, and there's absolutely nothing you can do to help them because they insist on making self-destructive choices.  

So let's look at the previous sentence, again.  For those around us, who truly love us, and who see our own continued food-addictive-self-destructive-eating behavior(s), what keeps them from turning to food for consolation of their disappointment/sadness in us?  Simple enough.  Their "chemistry" hasn't changed like ours; and, they aren't caught up in the food-addiction cycle of indulgence, guilt, restrict, indulgence ... and back to the most powerful of all emotions, guilt. They may have other flaws in their characters, but surrendering the strength and health of their minds and bodies to the temptations of food is not one of them. 

We are a restless society. We want instant gratification. And we truly don't want any kind of responsibility unless there's some kind of payoff or reward associated with it. Many don't do favors for one another - without some kind of expected monetary remuneration.  After all, we deserve it don't we? In the cycle of binge-eating and other eating-disorder behaviors, this is where the notion of entitlement becomes blurred with the vulnerability of addictive "reward" eating.  If we've experienced an emotional tragedy, disappointment or upset, it's okay to "eat it off," rather than "walk it off," isn't it?  Our affirmative conscious – not conscience -  answer is 95 percent "Yes," and 5 per cent "No." And then comes the guilt. We're like the dog that hangs his head when he knows he should have used the doggy door to go outside and do his business, but didn't.   

But, you see in order to become stronger in our convictions to win this eating war, we have to conquer the feeling of overwhelming defeat that is commonly associated with guilt.  Let's make guilt happy and give it its due by acknowledging its strength and power; and, then find ways to harness those same attributes to work for us instead of against us. One of the first steps in doing this is to forgive yourself.  This doesn't mean surrendering your conscience. It does mean acknowledging your eating misbehaviors, and coming to an understanding about what you can to do to help yourself reduce the frequency of these episodes.

We can be forewarned and forearmed against the mighty warrior called “guilt” by identifying our triggers, watching our eating patterns, making a positive effort to slow down the pace of our eating frenzies, and acknowledging the consequences we're going to have to pay for this "favor" our eating psyche has convinced us we're entitled to.  And, when I tell you that we have to be forewarned and forearmed against a binge-eating, night-eating, or over-eating episode, I'm also telling you to use whatever tool in your arsenal that works best for you.  Using prescribed medication(s), therapy, support groups, dieticians, nutritionists, meditation, or whatever other reasonable and safe weapons you can employ are all fair game in this continued, meal-by-meal war.

Harness the powers of guilt to work for you instead of against you. You can do this.  

Copyright © 1/1/2015, CB, BED Warrior